


The Reasonable Sacrifice

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, Suicide Attempt, baekhyun is a pizza delivery boy, iridae, it's nicer than the tags suggest, kyungsoo doesn't know how to make friends, not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kyungsoo's got millions to his name and Baekhyun still doesn't care.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The Reasonable Sacrifice

  
The first time Baekhyun knocks on his door, it's a rainy Saturday night. This is Baekhyun’s last delivery before he can go home, and yes these apartments are obviously more expensive than the homes of other customers (yes this is the first time Baekhyun's ever even been near a penthouse suite) but he doesn't really give a damn about that; Baekhyun just wants to get the job done and go.

It's a simple procedure. Baekhyun double checks he has the right pizzas in the delivery bag -- he does -- then knocks on the customer's door, triple checking the order while he waits for an answer.

It's not uncommon for teenagers that are around Baekhyun's age to answer the door, nor is it strange to be delivering to a party. In fact, the whole exchange is so painfully normal that Baekhyun's surprised he even remembers it happening afterwards -- the only weird thing about it is that the guy who answers the door simply takes the pizzas and throws a handful of bills at Baekhyun's face, then kicks the door shut and is gone before Baekhyun can get a proper look at his face.

Baekhyun hesitates for a moment only because this guy's just paid almost £20 more than was necessary for his pizza, but in the end Baekhyun decides against knocking on the door again to tell him because Baekhyun could really use the extra money to fix his PlayStation. If anyone asks, he'll just say that he was given a very generous tip; it'd be rude to say 'no'.

If the guy calls to complain, Baekhyun thinks as he's leaving the building, then it's his own fault for - literally - throwing his money around so carelessly. The customer can complain all he likes, Baekhyun thinks; Baekhyun doesn't care.

The second time Baekhyun knocks on the door to the penthouse suite, there is no party. The boy answers Baekhyun much faster than last time and pays for his one pizza with just a twenty, ignoring when Baekhyun stops to fish the guy's change out of his pocket and closing the door in his face again.

A £5 tip this time, but Baekhyun can't really bring himself to appreciate it because he's still frowning at the spot where the boy was, hand half raised like he wants to knock on the door again but he doesn't know if he should. He didn't get a good look at this customer the last time he was here - he didn't exactly get to study his finer features today, either - but Baekhyun knows that last time there definitely wasn't a bruise on his face, angry purple and swollen around his left eye.

And it could be nothing, Baekhyun thinks. He's a boy - boys get in fights all the time, accidents happen and all that, but Baekhyun has this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that says that bruise was not simply the result of friendly roughhousing or walking into a metal bar or something stupid of the same sort. He feels like it was intentional, like whoever put it there meant to harm, like--

Baekhyun stops himself just before he knocks again. Shakes his head and almost laughs.

What is he doing? Why does he even care? This customer means nothing to him - this guy doesn't even have a name, he's just some dude who orders to the same address every week.

Baekhyun actually does laugh this time, a quiet snort at his own stupidity, and counts his money as he turns to leave. He doesn't care.

The third time Baekhyun's sent to deliver to that same address, he makes sure he pays attention. He only checks the order once so he doesn't miss anything when the customer opens the door, and this time he's quite pleased to see that there is no bruise. Not a new one, anyway; the one from last time isn't going to fade quickly and right now it's kind of a dull blue, yellowy colour that-

"It's just a bruise, don't get too excited."

Baekhyun jumps when the boy talks and realises with an embarrassed jolt that he'd been staring pretty obviously at this guy's face instead of giving him his pizza. He clears his throat awkwardly and averts his gaze when he hands the pizza over, mumbling the price and holding his hand out for the cash.

The guy hands him another twenty, and for once he waits for change.

"Uh- bear with me just a minute?" Baekhyun feels around his pockets awkwardly; admittedly he'd been expecting another generous tip and now has to start counting out coins, feeling like a fool.

The customer gives one monotonous hum to confirm that he'll wait, then he's quiet for a few moments before suddenly asking; "How come it's always you?"

"Uh- sorry, what?" Baekhyun asks, only half listening as he tries to count out the right amount of 2p coins.

"The delivery guy used to change, like, every week," the customer prompts, "but this is the third time in a row you've delivered to me."

Baekhyun shrugs. "I guess I'm just lucky like that. Here - £4.28 change."

"Ah, keep it," the boy waves Baekhyun off, stepping back so the door falls shut and grinning cheekily at the look on Baekhyun's face because _did you really just make me count that shit out for nothing?!_

Judging by the shit-eating grin on the customer’s face, he did, and Baekhyun drops the money into his pocket again with a huff. "Enjoy your pizza."

The guy snorts, and just before the door clicks shut Baekhyun hears him sing; "Thanks - see you next week!"

Baekhyun does see him next week, but this time the guy is on the phone and motions for Baekhyun to follow him into the apartment instead of just taking the pizza like he's supposed to.

Baekhyun hesitates before following, because no one's ever told him not to but he's pretty sure going into customers' houses is not part of the job. That being said, he's never been in a penthouse suite before and he _is_ curious, so in the end Baekhyun just thinks fuck the job; he doesn't care.

The place is nice. It's really nice, everything from the curtains to the floorboards to the weird paintings hanging on the walls--even the couch is nice, and incredibly soft as Baekhyun discovers when the customer motions for him to sit on it. Again, Baekhyun doesn't think this is the usual procedure for delivering pizzas, but he's come this far so there's no point pussying out now.

He sits there awkwardly for about a minute and a half more while the guy finishes his phone call, most of which he doesn't actually speak for, just hums every now and then to show that he's still there until he puts the phone down without saying goodbye. Then the customer looks at Baekhyun and heaves a sigh, offering no explanation other than; "Boring."

"Thanks, you too," Baekhyun responds automatically, but doesn't think too hard on how he might have just accidentally insulted his best customer and instead places the pizza box down on the sofa beside him, announcing the price and holding out his hand for the money.

The guy gives Baekhyun £2 over this time and doesn't object when Baekhyun pockets the extra cash without offering to give change. Instead, the customer asks; "What does your job even entail?"

"I deliver pizzas," Baekhyun explains dully, "Drive to the houses, drive to the shop. Sometimes the girls who work the phones get us to make pizza boxes and I get a fuckload of paper cuts." The customer stares at him blankly. "It's a lot less glamorous than it seems."

"Well it seems pretty shit," the guy comments frankly.

Baekhyun just shrugs. "Yeah."

The boy laughs at that, moving over to pick up his pizza box from off the couch and Baekhyun takes that as his cue to leave, making for the door and tossing the usual ' _thank you very much, sir, enjoy your pizza_ ' over his shoulder, only to be stopped when the customer suddenly says; "It's Kyungsoo."

Baekhyun blinks at him. "What?"

"Don't call me 'sir', it's weird; my name's Kyungsoo," the customer tells him, "Do Kyungsoo."

Baekhyun snorts a laugh, childishly. "Ha, Do—like pizza dough."

Kyungsoo scowls. "No, Do as in the heir to Do Industries, dipshit."

He's obviously waiting for some kind of big reaction, but there's a stubborn streak in Baekhyun that refuses to give him that satisfaction, so instead Baekhyun just hums in the same bored tone Kyungsoo does. "Well, that explains your apartment."

"Yeah," Kyungsoo smirks, but there's something in it that Baekhyun thinks looks like the boy's glad Baekhyun didn't make a big deal out of his name, or the multi-billion pound company he's apparently heir to. As if it should matter to Baekhyun anyway; he's just the pizza delivery boy. Kyungsoo could have been a member of some world-famous boy band, for all Baekhyun knew, but either way it's not like he cares. "So call me Kyungsoo, not 'sir'. Okay?"

"Mmh," Baekhyun shrugs, "we'll see. My name’s Baekhyun, by the way, but I guess ‘dipshit’ works just fine too. Goodnight, sir!" Then he's gone, snickering under his breath as he goes because he can feel Kyungsoo’s glare on his back and he knows Kyungsoo’s pissed at Baekhyun’s cheek but he’s not going to apologise for it; Baekhyun doesn’t even care.

The next week, Baekhyun takes Saturday off to go to his grandmother's seventieth birthday party, which he doesn't think will be an issue with anyone until he goes to work and is told of a customer who placed an order and pretty much _demanded_ that Baekhyun be the one to deliver it to them. That in itself is mystifying enough, but when the customer address takes him right back to Do Kyungsoo's fancy penthouse suite Baekhyun is downright bewildered.

So much so, that when Kyungsoo answers the door Baekhyun fails to greet him with the usual " _good evening sir, here are your pizzas_ " and instead asks incredulously; "Did you _miss_ me?!"

"Oh, you're alive then," Kyungsoo responds in a way that reminds Baekhyun of his mother when she's angry at her husband for something, then Kyungsoo flounces back into the apartment like he expects Baekhyun to follow him in again.

Baekhyun, not really thinking straight, does just that. "You _missed me_?!"

"I didn't miss you," Kyungsoo replies curtly, leading Baekhyun into the kitchen and clearing some space on the marble countertop for Baekhyun to put down the pizza. "I was just unpleasantly surprised to open the door to a sweaty, fat man last week instead of who I was expecting and I'd rather not go through that again."

Baekhyun doesn't really hear what he's saying, though, he just stands there dumbly and stares at Kyungsoo like he's just sprouted another head. "I'm just the pizza delivery boy, Kyungsoo, I don't think you're supposed to miss me."

"Oh shut up, Baekhyun, I can do what I like," Kyungsoo snaps, taking the pizzas himself with a light flush across his cheeks. "And I didn't miss you."

"Right, okay," Baekhyun murmurs, motioning to where Kyungsoo is already opening up the pizza box and reaching for a slice. "Uh, you need to pay for that."

"Want some?" Kyungsoo offers Baekhyun one of the greasy, cheesy, pepperoni-covered pizza slices instead of his money and Baekhyun screws his face up in disgust.

"No, I'm good."

"You don't like it?"

"I don't eat meat," Baekhyun corrects him and Kyungsoo exaggeratedly rolls his eyes.

"Oh God, you're one of _those_ people. I should have guessed."

"'One of those people' - you mean a vegetarian?"

"Unnatural," Kyungsoo nods, taking a big bite of the pizza and continuing to talk with his mouth full. "Meat is the best thing in the world."

Baekhyun shrugs. "That's a matter of opinion. Anyway, I should be going; they time how long we take on these deliveries, y'know."

"Sure, whatever," Kyungsoo sighs, staring down at his pizza as he eats. After a few long moments, though, he seems to notice that Baekhyun still hasn't moved and Kyungsoo looks up at him somewhat suspiciously. "What?"

"You still haven't paid me."

" _Oh_ , right," Kyungsoo immediately spins and grabs his wallet off the counter opposite, flinging a handful of notes at Baekhyun like he did the first time Baekhyun delivered pizzas here. "Keep the change."

Baekhyun snorts; it's almost £25 over this time. "Y'know if you keep paying me this much you're gonna become poor and miserable like the rest of us."

Kyungsoo snorts and motions at the fancy apartment around him. "Not likely." He then swallows that last mouthful of pizza and flaps a hand at Baekhyun to get his attention again when he's turning to leave. "Can I just confirm, though, that you're going to deliver next Saturday as well? And every following Saturday after that, preferably."

Baekhyun pulls a face. "How am I meant to promise something like that?"

"Just promise to do your best," Kyungsoo urges, "some of those other delivery guys are really creepy."

Baekhyun has to admit that Kyungsoo's not wrong there. "I dunno; I applied for another job a couple of weeks ago, so if I get that I'll be leaving the pizza place because the money elsewhere's better, y'know?"

Kyungsoo frowns. "Oh. Well. Still?"

"I'll be here next week," Baekhyun sighs, rolling his eyes at Kyungsoo's victorious grin and hiding his own smile as he leaves the penthouse.

It's kinda cute that Kyungsoo cares so much, Baekhyun thinks, but no amount of cute customers are going to stop Baekhyun from leaving this job if he can. He might not even tell Kyungsoo when he leaves, just for the fun of it -- after all, it's not like Baekhyun cares.

The next week when Kyungsoo's order comes through again Baekhyun just takes it automatically. He knows the way to the apartment off-by-heart by now, and he has to admit that he's quite looking forward to seeing Kyungsoo again and drives a little faster to get there.

Then Kyungsoo opens the door with bloodshot eyes and a fat, busted lip and Baekhyun's heart drops through the floor. "Oh my God, what happened to you?!"

"My dad got home from his business trip," Kyungsoo explains quietly, casting his eyes down. He blocks the doorway with his body so there's no way for Baekhyun to even see inside the apartment. "Apparently things aren't going so well at the company. It happens."

" _What_?! No, stuff like this doesn't just _happen_ , Kyungsoo, you need to see a fucking doctor or something!"

" _Keep your voice down_!" Kyungsoo hisses suddenly.

Baekhyun freezes. "Is he... Your dad, is he here?"

"No, he left fifteen minutes ago, but I don't want the _neighbours_ hearing you!" Kyungsoo snaps back.

Baekhyun doesn't like that tone, but he lets it go under the circumstances and shifts towards the door hesitantly. "So do... Can I come in?"

"No."

"But I thought he-"

"No, Baekhyun, not today," Kyungsoo repeats firmly and Baekhyun goes quiet, bottom lip caught between his teeth anxiously. Kyungsoo glances up at him for just a second before avoiding the gaze again, heaving a sigh. "Can I just have my pizza, please?"

"Here," Baekhyun hands the food over quietly, thinking his words over carefully before asking; "Will your dad still be here next week?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head. "He's going away again on Tuesday."

"Oh." Baekhyun takes the money Kyungsoo hands him afterwards and is trying to decide whether or not to say what he's thinking now, but Kyungsoo's already started closing the door and there's no time to really think about it so Baekhyun just blurts it out anyway, all but shoving his foot in the door to stop Kyungsoo from disappearing again. "I got the job."

Kyungsoo stops, but doesn't say anything. Baekhyun takes it upon himself to fill the silence.

"I start in two weeks; next Saturday is my last shift at the pizza place."

Kyungsoo remains still for a moment, one hand holding his pizza box, the other hand on the door. Then, he nods, and before the door finally closes Baekhyun hears Kyungsoo mutter a small, "Okay."

Baekhyun's last night working at the pizza place ends on a bit of a low. He doesn't get offered the free pizza he kind of expected in return for one and a half years of hard work; instead he's sent to do more deliveries than he probably ever has in one night and gets absolutely no tips. His last hope is one Do Kyungsoo, who he knows is probably going to order at the end of the night like he always does, but when Kyungsoo's order does come through Baekhyun's horrified to see that he paid over the phone, using his card.

Card payments mean no tips--no extortionate amounts of spare change for Kyungsoo to throw at him--and not even an excuse to hang around and talk today.

It's just not Baekhyun's night.

Although, he supposes as he parks up outside Kyungsoo's apartment and checks the order quickly before getting out of the car, he probably wouldn't get to stick around long anyway. There are two pizzas tonight, which probably means Kyungsoo has company--otherwise he's eating away his feelings rather than confronting the problems he obviously has with his father. But Baekhyun doesn't have Kyungsoo down as a big eater, so it's probably option one.

Baekhyun's surprised, then, when he knocks on the door and is greeted by Kyungsoo waving him into the penthouse like he always does, TV remote in one hand and an open packet of Quavers in the other. Baekhyun looks down at the pizzas and raises his eyebrows. Huh - maybe he is a big eater.

"You got here fast; I thought it'd take at least ten more minutes," Kyungsoo remarks casually, leading Baekhyun into the kitchen again and motioning for him to put the pizzas down on the table as Kyungsoo tosses the crisps packet aside.

Baekhyun does as he’s told, glancing around the apartment in search of Kyungsoo's companion at the same time but there's no one there. Not that he can see, anyway. "I tried to be quick," Baekhyun replies absent-mindedly, still looking for Kyungsoo's friend. "You're my last job for today; after this I get to go home. Y'know you managed to pick the most inconvenient time possible to order?"

Kyungsoo scoffs. "Well, yeah." He says it like that had been his intention, and this doesn't actually surprise Baekhyun in the least so he pays it no mind. He's still trying to spot any signs of someone else being in the apartment, in fact, and is so preoccupied with that that he doesn't notice Kyungsoo opening both pizza boxes, taking a slice from one then pushing the other towards Baekhyun with a grin. "Bon appetite!"

Baekhyun looks at him. Looks down at the pizza. Looks back up. "What."

"Here," Kyungsoo nudges the pizza towards Baekhyun again, grin faltering only slightly at the somewhat underwhelming reaction.

Baekhyun stares at it. It's a vegetarian. "You bought me a pizza?"

Kyungsoo looks at it too, smile dropping away more and more by the second. "Yeah."

Baekhyun looks up at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because it's your last day and I thought you'd want a pizza," Kyungsoo shrugs.

Baekhyun squints at him. "You paid full price for a pizza that I can get for 60% off?"

Kyungsoo gapes at him. "How the hell do you manage that?!"

"My _employee discount_?!"

"But I thought you said you don't work there any more?!"

"They'd still _give it to me_!" Baekhyun says, and can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole situation. "Kyungsoo, I can't take this."

Kyungsoo stares at him indignantly. "Why not?!"

"You can't just _buy me a pizza_ and expect me to eat it - I've got to go back to the shop!"

"Fine then, I'll just keep it here until you get back," Kyungsoo shrugs, suddenly all apathetic and Baekhyun doesn't think he's ever met such an obnoxious human being before. "It'll probably get cold, though."

Baekhyun rubs his temples like he's getting a migraine. (He's not really, he just wants Kyungsoo to know how annoying he is) "Kyungsoo, I'm not coming back. After I clock out of work I'm going _home_."

Kyungsoo just stares at him for a few moments, chewing on the inside of his lip so it looks like he's pulling a stubborn little pouty face. When he speaks, he doesn't sound happy. "Why? Don't you like hanging out with me? I thought we were friends."

Baekhyun shrugs. "Well, yeah, I guess we are, but not _now_ while I'm _working_. I'm just the delivery boy, I don't-- you're like my _customer_!"

" _You don't work there any more_!"

"I'm not even clocked out yet; technically I'm still working my shift," Baekhyun points out. "What do you expect me to do, call and tell them to clock me out while I stay here with you?"

Kyungsoo shrugs. "Sure."

"What?!"

"Can you?"

"Well- yeah, I guess I can, but-"

"So do that, then."

Baekhyun sighs. "Kyungsoo. I don't understand what you're- why are you so desperate for me to stay?"

Kyungsoo goes quiet then, and though he's acting just as nonchalant as before he's a little too stiff when he moves and it's giving away how much he really does care. Baekhyun resists the urge to sigh.

"I dunno," Kyungsoo says eventually, taking a bite of his pizza and staring down at it as he eats so he doesn't have to meet Baekhyun's gaze. "I guess I just thought it'd be cool. I like hanging out with you, I dunno. I thought maybe we could stay friends. Even after you've stopped coming here for work, I mean."

Baekhyun does sigh, then, half in sympathy for how miserable Kyungsoo looks and half annoyed at himself because he knows he's too much of a wuss to reject him now. Kyungsoo's got this look on his face like a kicked puppy, and Baekhyun doesn't have the strength to say 'no' to that.

"Fine, I'll call the shop," Baekhyun mutters in defeat, looking away from the hopeful, slightly disbelieving eyes that flit up to his face. "I gave them all the pizza cash before I left, anyway--but only because you paid on card, you asshole. Y'know _no one_ gave me any tips tonight?!"

He was hoping to make their relationship a little more casual, lighten the mood a bit and it looks like it's worked; Kyungsoo's positively beaming now, even as he says, "Shut up, I'm not _always_ gonna tip you."

"Why not?" Baekhyun asks jokingly, slipping his mobile phone out of his pocket and scrolling through his contacts. "I sure as hell need it more than you do. And while we're on the subject, you do know I'm poor as shit, right? Not like any of your other high society friends."

Kyungsoo scoffs and rolls his eyes like Baekhyun's being stupid. Baekhyun likes him even more for it. "I know, dumbass. I've got plenty of money of my own; I'm not after yours."

"Ah, no, you just want me for my body," Baekhyun says sarcastically as he puts the phone to his ear and laughs as he dodges the kick Kyungsoo aims at his legs, only just spotting the light blush across Kyungsoo's cheeks. Kyungsoo leaves him alone when the phone connects, though, moving over to the TV with a slice of pizza and flicking through the movie channels.

It's Kris who answers the phone, the only guy working at the front because he's allegedly very attractive and lots of girls like him. Out of all of Baekhyun's co-workers Kris is probably the least annoying, so Baekhyun's pleased it's Kris who picks up.

"Hey! Could you do me a favour and clock me out? It's easier for me to just not come back tonight," Baekhyun says, and as soon as Kris realises who Baekhyun is he drops the polite, professional tone he always answers with.

"Uhh... Sure?" Kris doesn't sound too sure himself. "You don't have any cash on you, right?"

"I gave it to the boss before I left," Baekhyun shakes his head before realising Kris can't see him. "You can ask him if you like."

Kris lets out a pained little grunt. "He's gone upstairs and I can't be bothered to fetch him - I'll just trust you. You're a good kid."

Baekhyun snorts. "Thanks."

"Are you sure you don't want to come back, though?" Kris asks, "I think they were on about giving you a free pizza as a little farewell present."

"Uh, no. Thanks," Baekhyun replies, looking over at the pizza Kyungsoo bought for him with a lingering hint of irritation in his tone. "I think I'm okay for pizzas today."

"You're a fool, but okay," Kris tells him and Baekhyun laughs. "I'll see you around, then, mate - take care of yourself."

"Yeah, you too," Baekhyun replies before he hangs up and puts his phone back. He then picks up the whole pizza box and sits down on Kyungsoo's couch with it, looking up at Kyungsoo who's still searching for a movie to watch. "So, dinner and a film. Is this some kind of date?"

"Oh my god, shut up!" Kyungsoo orders, "I'm not even gay!"

Baekhyun laughs at the outburst. "Okay! I was just kidding!"

"I hate you," Kyungsoo mutters, finally settling for a horror channel and sitting on the other end of the couch with his own pizza in his lap. "And even if I were gay, you're so not my type."

Baekhyun grins. "Good to know."

"I like girls."

"Okay."

"Hot girls."

"Alright, Kyungsoo."

"With boobs and bras and really long legs."

Baekhyun scoffs. "Okay, whatever! I don't care!"

Kyungsoo nods, shuffling back further into the couch cushions and bringing a pizza slice to his lips, muttering; "It's not a date." Baekhyun just grins.

Baekhyun starts to see a lot of Do Kyungsoo over the following few weeks, going over to his place every Saturday and even on some weekdays when he has the time, just to hang out and keep him company. It's sad, Baekhyun thinks, how obviously lonely Kyungsoo is -- and he is lonely, even a fool could see it. The apartment is too big and too grand; the boys' voices echo in some of the rooms and the view they have of the city, which looks so small and insignificant from the windows of Kyungsoo's home, make it feel like they're completely isolated from the rest of the world. Granted, sometimes Baekhyun thinks that this would probably be a good thing, but he can't stand the thought of being trapped here forever. Trapped like Kyungsoo is.

Kyungsoo seems very eager to share his space, though; to the point where he gets angry at Baekhyun one day for continually knocking on the door and waiting for Kyungsoo to answer every time he comes over.

"Why don't you just let yourself in?" Kyungsoo asks, "That would be better than always forcing me to open the door for you."

Baekhyun pulls a face at him over his bowl full of Chinese takeaway food. (Since Baekhyun's stopped working at the pizza place, it seems, Kyungsoo's been a lot more willing to order different kinds of food for them to share. After working with pizzas for so long, Baekhyun can't say he's unhappy with the change.) "Sorry, but how am I meant to do that when you always keep the door locked?"

"I have to keep it locked in case someone tries to rob me, obviously," Kyungsoo says.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes because Kyungsoo's completely missed the point. "Well, yeah, I knew that, but it still means I can't get in."

"Just use the spare key...?"

Baekhyun squints at him. "Why do you think I know where the spare key is?"

"Because it's not exactly hard to find; we keep it on top of the doorframe, like they do in pretty much every movie ever made," Kyungsoo shrugs, shovelling another huge mouthful of noodles into his mouth. "See? You haven't even been _trying_."

" _Why would I try to find your spare key_?!"

Kyungsoo heaves a sigh. "Please just use it from now on? I can't be arsed to get up and let you in any more."

Baekhyun huffs irritably. "You're such a lazy shit." He doesn't say it nicely at all even if he's only pretending to be annoyed, so for a moment Baekhyun is kind of worried that Kyungsoo will get upset about it. Nevertheless, Kyungsoo doesn't say a word in retaliation and he doesn't stop Baekhyun when he stretches out on the sofa and rests his feet in Kyungsoo's lap gently, so Baekhyun thinks it's been forgotten.

That is, until Kyungsoo says quietly; "Thanks for coming over like you do. I know you probably don't want to."

"Yeah, well, I'm only here for the free food," Baekhyun jokes, not picking up on Kyungsoo's mood until Baekhyun looks over to find him staring down at his food miserably.

Kyungsoo laughs at the joke once, weakly, and shrugs his shoulders. "Still. Thanks."

"Hey, what for?" Baekhyun asks, sitting up and craning his neck down to try and see Kyungsoo's face better. "We're friends; of course I like coming here. Why the hell wouldn't I?"

"I dunno, no one else would," Kyungsoo shrugs again, before dumping some more food into his mouth and reaching for the TV remote. "What are we watching tonight, anyway? ‘ _The Avengers_ ’ is supposed to be good, right?"

Baekhyun doesn't really want to, but he lets Kyungsoo change the subject and doesn't mention again how fragile and small he looked just then. The rest of the night continues as they always do and Baekhyun has a good time overall, but as he's driving home his mind can't help but wander back to Kyungsoo's words. They don't sit right with Baekhyun whatsoever, and he can't stop thinking about it even after he falls asleep that night.

(And despite everything, there's a small voice in Baekhyun's head that wonders when he began to even care.)

It happens two weeks later. It's a perfectly normal Saturday night, lolling about on Kyungsoo's couch while his father is apparently out somewhere doing business, and Baekhyun is talking and Kyungsoo is laughing and they're basically just having a good time, enjoying each other's company and the fried chicken Kyungsoo ordered in for them.

It happens because Baekhyun starts a tickle fight, because he finds out that Kyungsoo squeals like a girl if you skitter your fingers up his ribs and Baekhyun finds it too hilarious to resist. It happens when Baekhyun tackles Kyungsoo onto his back on the sofa, Baekhyun leaning over him, in closer proximity than they're used to with flushed faces and racing heartbeats and the air thrilling with electricity and possibility and-

Baekhyun doesn't know why he does it. He just wants to, he supposes, so he does it; he stops tickling Kyungsoo and just kneels over him for a moment before leaning down and planting the softest of kisses on his lips. It lasts maybe a second at most, then Baekhyun sits back again and gives Kyungsoo his space and prepares to apologise profusely for what he's done.

He doesn't expect Kyungsoo to follow him. Is surprised when Kyungsoo sits up only to fit a hand around Baekhyun's cheek and draw him back in for a kiss again, this one deeper and more meaningful than the first. Baekhyun doesn't expect it, but he's damn glad it happens.

"I'm not gay," Kyungsoo breathes when they draw back for air the first time.

Baekhyun grins, still so close that their lips brush when he speaks. "That's okay, me neither."

"Yeah?" Kyungsoo murmurs, "You kiss like you're gay."

Baekhyun laughs. "Yeah, so do you." Then he's leaning in again for more, kissing Kyungsoo over and over like he can't get enough, getting bolder and bolder and feeling his heart flip when Kyungsoo opens his mouth to let Baekhyun's tongue curl against his. It's not perfect, Baekhyun knows, but it must be pretty damn close as far as he’s concerned; pulse racing, chests heaving, hands all over and not one thought in his head that isn't all about Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, _Kyungsoo_ -

They spring apart when the door slams open but they both know it's too late. Kyungsoo pales, ghostly white skin a stark contrast to his kiss-swollen lips as the man in the doorway looks over at them both with bloodshot, furious eyes and his hands balled into fists. "What the hell is this?"

Kyungsoo's trembling, now, but he doesn't let Baekhyun hold his hand when Baekhyun tries to catch it, tries to steady him. "Dad, I-"

"What the hell do you think you're doing in my house?!" the man demands, looking between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun like he's about ready to throttle them both. " _Well_?!"

"We were just-" Baekhyun starts, but Kyungsoo cuts him off by getting to his feet and yanking Baekhyun up, too.

"Baekhyun was just leaving, dad," Kyungsoo says. "This was my idea, please don't-"

"And what the _fuck_ made you think you could bring your shitty little friends into my house again?!" the man's yelling now and Kyungsoo looks truly terrified, a complete change from the confident boy Baekhyun knows. But Baekhyun can hardly blame him; Kyungsoo’s father seems dangerous and unpredictable and even Baekhyun's a little bit petrified by him, but he knows he doesn't want to leave because he knows what's coming if he leaves Kyungsoo here and he isn’t going to let that happen.

But Baekhyun doesn't really have a choice.

"Did you not learn from last time?" the father snarls at Kyungsoo, then turns his disgusted glare on Baekhyun. "You, get out. Get the fuck out of my apartment and don't even think about coming back or I swear to god I’ll make you wish you were never born, do you hear me?"

Baekhyun's about to snap back at him but Kyungsoo starts pushing him towards the door before he can, head lowered and begging; "Just leave, Baekhyun, please just go."

"He beats you, doesn't he?" Baekhyun hisses, just quiet enough so only Kyungsoo can hear. "He's done it before and it's going to happen again after I've gone. Isn't it?!"

"I'll be fine, just _go_ ," Kyungsoo insists, pushing Baekhyun out of the doorway his father stepped away from and blocking Baekhyun from trying to come back in. "You're only going to make things worse, Baekhyun, just go home. _Please_."

Baekhyun's shaking with anger, now, chest heaving furiously. "I'll report him. I'll fucking do it, I'll get him locked up for this shit."

"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo whispers with a sickening tone of defeat, "just go home."

Then he closes the door in Baekhyun's face and he's gone. Baekhyun can hear Kyungsoo's father's shouting even as he forces himself to walk away.

Baekhyun doesn't see Kyungsoo after that. He's not answering his phone, either; not one call nor a text and Baekhyun's scared to death that something's happened to him. Maybe his dad went too far this time, maybe he hit Kyungsoo ‘til he broke and maybe now- maybe he--

Baekhyun should never have left.

"Wow, that's not a happy face. Did somebody die?"

Baekhyun's colleague at this new job (the glamorous task of stacking shelves at the local supermarket) strolls up then, lazy grin on his face as always. His name's Jongdae, and Baekhyun likes him because he's funny, but today he thinks Jongdae's remark might have just hit a little too close to home.

"What if someone actually has died," Baekhyun replies quietly, "and you’re wandering around making comments like that? It makes you look like a bit of a dick, don’t you think?"

Jongdae's smile drops immediately. "Oh, shit - sorry, man, I didn't- has someone really died?"

Baekhyun doesn’t reply at first, because he doesn’t know, but then he catches sight of Jongdae’s worried gaze and lets out a long sigh. “No, no one died. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, thank _God_!” Jongdae laughs, clapping Baekhyun on the back good-naturedly. “Why mess with me like that, man? Don’t do that.”

Baekhyun forces out a short, humourless chuckle. “Sorry.”

But Jongdae either doesn’t notice or just ignores him. He’s got his own news to share. “But- hey, dude- did you hear about that Do guy?”

Baekhyun swears he feels his blood run cold. “…Who?”

It’s ridiculous to be worried, he thinks. There are hundreds of people whose last names are Do – _thousands_ even – and to immediately presume Jongdae means Kyungsoo is just stupid, really, because Kyungsoo-

“Y’know, that guy who owns Do Industries?” Jongdae prompts, looking at Baekhyun expectantly as the colour slowly drains from his face. “The millionaire?”

Baekhyun tries to swallow but there’s a lump in his throat and his mouth is still dry when he nods and asks; “What about him?”

“He’s been _arrested_ ,” Jongdae sounds thrilled.

Baekhyun feels kind of faint. “Really? Wh… Why?”

“Some shit went down at his company – apparently he was using a load of people in third world countries for slave labour or something? Anyway, police got to his apartment and arrested him, took him away for questioning and all that,” Jongdae waves a hand like this is where the story gets boring, but Baekhyun’s still hanging onto every word just in case there’s some mention of Kyungsoo. He thinks he’s going to come up short, then; “The cops are after his kid, too. They want to question him – apparently there’s evidence in the apartment to suggest domestic violence or abuse or some shit, I dunno. The newspaper wasn’t too clear on that bit. But yeah, apparently he got home when the police were arresting his dad, took one look at them and legged it. He’s only our age, as well, ain’t that weird?”

“Crazy,” Baekhyun breathes, still feeling utterly shell-shocked and it takes a moment for him to regain control of his limbs. When he does, though, he just stumbles past Jongdae and heads for the exit without another thought – at least, not one thought that isn’t _Kyungsoo is alive, I need to find him, Kyungsoo is alive, I need to-_ “Ex-excuse me…”

“Whoa!” Jongdae catches Baekhyun’s wrist to stop him, eyes wide in alarm, “Are you okay? Hey- Baek, what’s wrong?”

Baekhyun shakes his head, slowly coming to his senses and a sense of urgency fills his body. “I just need to- I need- Jongdae, can you cover the rest of my shift for me?”

Jongdae stares at him. “ _What_?!”

“I’ll pay you back, I swear,” Baekhyun promises, tugging his hand free from Jongdae’s grip and sprinting out of the shop before Jongdae can say anything else. He’s still wearing his work clothes, running full-pelt down the street because he left his car at home and he needs to get to it quickly. Baekhyun scares the living daylights out of an old woman as he passes her and very nearly goes barrelling into a little kid with a _Transformer_ toy clutched in his chubby fingers, but Baekhyun doesn’t stop for either of them because they’re not important right now.

Nothing is important but Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun practically launches himself into the driver’s seat of his car and speeds towards Kyungsoo’s penthouse suite in the middle of the city, slowing down only on the roads where he knows there are speed cameras but thinking he’s probably fucked anyway because there’ll be one somewhere that catches him. Baekhyun tells himself that it doesn’t matter and presses on.

He gets to the building in record time and takes the stairs two at a time to get to the very top level where Kyungsoo lives, stretching up to grab the spare key from the top of the doorframe before he sees that the door is already ajar, a crack of light from inside shining through the tiny opening.

Heart hammering in his chest and adrenaline still thrumming through his veins, Baekhyun pushes the door open.

He doesn’t know what he expects. Kyungsoo sobbing in a corner, maybe – or perhaps Baekhyun thought he’d find him lying in a pool of blood on the floor, hole in his head with the gun still in his hand.

Baekhyun finds neither; Kyungsoo isn’t here. The place is trashed, though; all of Kyungsoo’s father’s expensive things, glass vases and costly paintings are smashed, torn through and destroyed like the very lives of their owners. Baekhyun wonders if it was Kyungsoo who did this, or if it was his father. Baekhyun wonders if the furniture wasn’t the only thing Kyungsoo’s dad took out his anger on.

The door to the balcony is open; the cold wind of early winter blows the suite’s thin white curtains out into the room like ghosts and Baekhyun decides to go out there first, hesitantly looking over the high railing to check for any bodies below. There are none, and Baekhyun thinks he could cry with relief but, really, that would be premature. He still hasn't found Kyungsoo yet.

Baekhyun goes back inside, leaving the balcony door wide open behind him, and checks every room in the apartment twice over, searching in every hiding spot he can think of until the sky starts to get dark, but he didn't expect to find Kyungsoo and he was right. Kyungsoo isn't here.

Kyungsoo isn't here, and Baekhyun has no idea where else to look.

He knows this is where he should give up on this ridiculous rescue mission, but Baekhyun can’t quite bring himself to leave. He’s just sort of dawdling in the living room, hoping that Kyungsoo will magically appear before him or something, when he hears the woman scream. It's coming from outside, floating through the balcony door and Baekhyun immediately goes out to see what's going on. He leans over the railing as far as he dares, squinting to try and get a better look at the hysterical woman down below who's pointing at something behind Baekhyun's head and shouting something—she’s almost sobbing, really, and now she’s _screaming_ something that sounds like; " _Get down! Get down – somebody_ stop him _!_ "

Baekhyun turns his face to the sky to see what on earth she could be talking about. There's someone on the roof. Baekhyun sees a hand, the toes of a boot inching too close to the edge and the outline of a body, teetering dangerously whenever there's a particularly strong gust of wind. Baekhyun's heart is in his throat, heart beating faster and faster as he stares up, horrified and petrified and...

There's someone on the roof.

Kyungsoo's on the roof.

It's cold. Freezing, really; it’s the kind of cold that numbs your fingers within seconds and makes your chest feel oddly hollow and open when you try to breathe. The wind is whipping around like it's trying to toss both boys off of the rooftop when Baekhyun stumbles out onto it, and by the looks of things Kyungsoo won't take much longer before he goes because he's dancing on the ledge like he's drunk, bruised and broken and singing at the top of his lungs.

Baekhyun feels sick.

"Kyungsoo!" he calls, gently at first and he knows Kyungsoo's heard him because of the way he twitches ever so slightly. He doesn't turn, though, just chooses to ignore Baekhyun completely and Baekhyun shouts louder. "Kyungsoo, don't! Get down from there, _please_!"

"You heard the news, then?" Kyungsoo yells back, a fake sense of bravado in his tone and Baekhyun wonders if this is what it looks like when a person's entire universe is torn down around them. "Got your fill of the scandal?"

"You don't have to do this," Baekhyun says, voice shaking as he edges towards Kyungsoo, one arm reaching out as if to hold him and pull him back.

Kyungsoo moves away. "We've lost everything, Baek. He's fucking ruined it all—y’know they've taken all our money? Every account frozen, every penny..."

"It's okay, Kyungsoo, you don't need it! We can work this out, I promise-- I'll help you, just please come do-"

"Don't need it? Don't _need_ it?!" Kyungsoo laughs loudly, bitterly into the clear, cold night air. "For a smart guy you're really stupid, you know that?"

Kyungsoo sways forwards again with the wind for a split second and Baekhyun screws his eyes shut, terrified to look. "Kyungsoo- Kyungsoo, please just get down from there, we can-"

"Everyone's _gone_ , Baekhyun!" Kyungsoo shouts it almost triumphantly, flinging his arms out and baring his chest victoriously despite the tears swimming in his eyes. Baekhyun opens his eyes again to watch him and finds that there are tears dripping onto his own cheeks, too. "Everyone's left; there's no more money, no more power... Everyone's gone. All my family—my very _closest friends_ ," he sneers, "all of them are gone. Even my mother went and fucking died on us - everyone just fucking _leaves_!"

Baekhyun tries to laugh a little, but it comes out more like a sob and he stops. "And me? What about me, huh? Am I gone?"

Kyungsoo hesitates for a second before he answers, shrugging his shoulders like he doesn't care despite the shake in his voice. "I wish you weren't. I wish you'd go; let me get on with this without-"

Baekhyun does laugh this time, one harsh, bitter sound and he wipes at the tears in his eyes furiously. "Oh my god—you’re really a dick, you know that?"

Kyungsoo's head whips around to stare at him for half a second at the insult before he looks out at the world again and down, shifting forwards like he's going to jump. "Fine, then- fine, if you hate me so much, as well, I guess I'll just-"

"You think I hate you?!" Baekhyun demands, yet more tears falling to replace the ones he brushed away and his voice leaping up a few octaves. "You really think that? After all this- after I came to see you all those times, after I kept coming back even though I didn't have to-- after I _kissed_ you, you think I hate you?! You think I'd be here, fucking freezing my ass off on top of a forty-fucking-foot-tall building for you, trying to stop you from jumping because I fucking hate to think of a world without you-- you think I'd do that if I _hated_ you?!"

Kyungsoo swallows hard and he's crying just as much as Baekhyun now. He's stood still atop the building, no longer flailing around like a madman, and it looks like all the fight has left him but he doesn't get down. Doesn't look at Baekhyun, either, just shakes his head as he says hoarsely; "Everyone leaves, Baekhyun. Everyone _leaves_."

"I know," Baekhyun tells him, and his throat feels raw as the cold wind continues to tear down it. "I know they do, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo, I'm sorry that happened to you but I- I'm here now. I'm here and I want you to live – you’re my best fucking friend, Kyungsoo, please don't leave me now. Please don't jump."

Kyungsoo just continues to stare out at the city, eyes bright and his whole body trembling, like the scared little boy he really is inside. He stays like that for a moment, frozen, before he nods once, twice, then has to bow his head because there are sobs ripping from his chest and he doesn't want anyone to see him cry.

Baekhyun doesn't care. He lets his tears run, moving forwards to help Kyungsoo as he clambers down carefully and pulling his friend into a tight embrace as soon as his feet touch the solid ground once more. Now they both cry freely, shaking and sobbing into each other's shoulders, swearing to one another that they'll never be back here at this place again.

Police sirens sound in the distance, drawing ever nearer and Baekhyun feels Kyungsoo tense in his arms but he doesn't run, just clings onto Baekhyun that much tighter.

"It's okay," Baekhyun breathes, "it's okay, I've got you; we can tell them everything, they won't blame you, I promise."

"Don't leave me," Kyungsoo begs, "please, just stay with me for this-"

"I'm not going anywhere," Baekhyun promises, holding Kyungsoo tighter for emphasis. "I swear, I'll be here. Always."

And that's a promise Baekhyun intends to keep.

  


  
_I feel numb most of the time  
Stars that burn the brightest  
Fall so fast and pass you by  
Spark like empty lighters_  
  
---  
  
**Author's Note:**

> Title and quote taken from Marina and the Diamonds' 'Numb'


End file.
